Academic in Exile

movin' on out

2006-07-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to delete this blog (lest it get taken over by porn ads, like 1B*'s old blog did), but come over and play at my new digs.

I'm all for being an informed citizen ...

2006-05-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

... but good lord are confirmation hearings boring.

Seriously?*

2006-05-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

What are the chances that me and my childhood friend would end up closing on our very first homes on the exact same day?

Seriously,* I have to think the odds are slim. Nonetheless, that's what will happen tomorrow morning.

*(Yup, I'm a big fan.)

calm before the storm

2006-05-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

It's dusk, on one of those tenatively grey evenings that's cold around the edges. The house is both picked up and clean (an unfortunately rare coincidence in our household), and even Doggie is freshly bathed and, consequently, hilariously fluffy.

In a little over a week, I'm headed to Asis--a trip that includes stops in the Country with a DMZ; the Country Where the U.S. Got Stuck in a Quagmire; and the Country with the Prime Minister who Made Anti-Semitic Speeches. (Sorry to be so long-winded, but, you know, just trying to make myself un-Google-able.)

The timing of my trip overseas is such that the day after I return, Woodstock leaves for five weeks of teaching at a university in Former Communist Country. He will be leading workshops for students and working professionals, offering his skills and insights to a place where freedom of communication is just emerging.

Rain is imminent, but now, now it's calm before the storm.

slightly tipsy blogging

2006-05-12T14:53:00.000-07:00

It's been a long, long week. We've had week-long on-campus training in conjunction with restructuring, all of which was capped off with a work-sponsored happy hour, from which I just returned.

So, I'm happy, and a little tipsy.

In other news, a cool 10k has been wired from our savings account to the title company. We are all set to close on the very first home of our own on Monday morning.

In a few minutes, I'll meet up with Woodstock to attend the year-end departmental awards shindig, complete with booze and appetizers. I know it's easy to complain about this stuff, but I actually like hanging with Woodstock's students. They all adore him, and it's cool to see the tangible benefits of the graduate degree. As a bonus, his colleagues don't treat me like an idiot just because I'm a staff member.

Speaking of Woodstock, this week we found out that one of his films has, unbeknownst to him, been making the rounds of small, competitive political film festival. It must be nice to get substantive lines on the CV without even trying.

For long-time readers of this blog, EFB is now an uncle. Talk about another planet heard from ... I got an e-mail from him about it this week.

Something to consider before you quit your faculty job:

2006-05-09T18:20:00.000-07:00

If you join the corporate, nonprofit, or staff side of higher education, you will be trained within an inch of your life. This is a guarantee.

In theory, I appreciate the focus on, and support for, professional development. In practice, I find most training consists of obvious platitudes and tangential stories.

Can you tell that I've just finished Day 2 of all-week-long training?

things that are good:

2006-05-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

a new dress! on sale! perfect for two upcoming trips!
Battlestar Galactica--against my will, I really, really like this show. My favorite line so far (we're watching season one right now): "No more Mr. Nice Guyus." Oh, Dr. Baltar, you make me laugh.
Woodstock's newest film. It's insightful, funny, and beautiful to watch. I think it's one of his best yet.
In small university town news, a new Middle Eastern restaurant has opened. It offers not just excellent fare but also wonderful atmosphere. In Bailiwick, this alone constitutes an upgrade in quality of life.
Spring here emerges gently, with all manner of green showing itself slowly and shyly.

In which the rug is pulled completely out from under me

2006-05-05T06:16:00.000-07:00

I temporarily stopped blogging this week because, well, something sort of shocking happened at work. But comebacknikki posted about her work trauma, so I guess I'll do the same.

I should stop here and explain that I work in an advocacy position, which means that I work in and report to the Dean of an Academic Unit, as well as an advocacy VP. I am not totally excited about the advocacy aspect of my job, but I really love my Dean and the Academic Unit for which I work.

The Academic Unit is in the midst of job cuts (see previous post) and subsequent reorganization, which means that all of us in the Unit are thinking about how we can meet student and faculty needs while still making cuts. Y'know, doing more with less. Knowing this, I've been working with the Dean on a job that would be solely housed in Academic Unit and which is more closely aligned with my skills and interests.

On Tuesday, completely out of the blue, I learned that there's going to be a reorganization that will change my job (both the content and the reporting structure). Advocacy has decided that we need to work in "teams" of three instead of autonomously, and that two of my least favorite people in other Units are going to head up these senior advocacy directors. So, instead of being in charge of advocacy for the Academic Unit I love, I will be assigned to a team responsible for three academic units. And, I will be the lowest-level person on the team, with two people above me. Oh, and this will be starting as of July 1st. Whatever happened to higher ed moving slowly? Advocacy folks, as a group, are not my favorite and I'm very unexcited about having to spend more time with them. Although I'll be "allowed" to keep my office in Academic Unit (only because my dean asked), I'll also have a cubicle in the advocacy building.

Previous to this announcement, I was biding my time doing advocacy work until this job in the Academic Unit comes through. However, Dean has already told me that she can't make this new job happen by July 1, so I should "roll with punches." Furthermore, Dean also told me that the Provost is very against this new position we're trying to write so that I can be incorporated into Academic Unit. At the very least, the position will have to be "creatively named." I am not opposed to biding my time, but I worry that the job I want will never materialize. In my last job, I was promised a telecommuting position at the outset. That never happened, and I ended up having to quit prematurely. That sucked.

I'm mostly still in shock and not smiling a lot. Oh, and we're closing on our first house in 10 days, so it's not like I can quit and find something better. And in true AiE style, when the going gets rough, I think to myself, "Maybe I should just go back to grad school."

Edited to add: I just found out that our mortgage loan, our first loan of this size, was approved. That's good news I guess.

I heart my dean.

2006-05-01T15:52:00.000-07:00

Like so many state universities across the country, we are dealing with budget cuts. This year, the fiscal austerity required requires Academic Units to cut operating budgets by double-digit numbers. Ouch.

We're going to have to cut staff, never any easy thing to do, particularly in places where the university is basically the town's economic engine. Yet, I feel lucky to work for a dean who creates what little light she can in the midst of so much overwhelming darkness.

Dear Staff --

A massage therapist will be here on Friday to give FREE 20-minute chair massages. He will be coming back in future weeks -- with everything that's going on in the Academic Unit, we can all use stress relief -- and I hope to give everyone who's interested an opportunity.

A small way of saying "thanks" for all the hard work that you are doing in a very challenging time of change.

--The [World's Most Awesome] Dean

home again, home again

2006-04-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

I was in Beantown last week, the last trip in 6 weeks full of trips. I'm now home home home for three glorious weeks.

Beantown is a special place--it's where my parents went to graduate school and met each other. It was also the closest big city to where I grew up, so we went there often for trips to museums, aquariums, Red Sox games, and Indian restaurants. And Woodstock lived there while we were dating. So, I feel connected to Beantown, to the smell of still-chilly-but-it's-trying-to-be-spring afternoons and the sounds of the Russian babushkas in Brookline, the Portguese-speaking population in Somerville, and the stops being announced on the T.

I've been to fabulous cities on East and West coasts in the past couple of months, but it's still been work. I travel a lot and, even though I do love to travel, it is still just a job. I am grateful for the feel of my own low-count thread sheets on my skin, Doggie's wet nose against my cheek in the morning, and the weight and warmth of Woodstock's body next to mine.

one thing I love about New England

2006-04-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

that I'd sort of forgotten about: Dunkin' Donuts. Not for the doughnuts, mind you. For the cheap and delicious coffee, and the fact that a "small" is actually small. They even have fair-trade certified cappucino. (And none of that burned taste--Unlike Starbucks, Dunkin' knows the difference between dark roast and burned.)

Really, what's not to love?

the problem with drinking on the job

2006-04-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

I'm rapidly heading towards 30 (the age, not the interstate), and it was a little bewildering to be dining at the country club (an experience that deserves a post of its own) of a VIP related to the university (who is well into his 80s) and be asked for my ID when I ordered a glass of wine.

In Bailiwick, everyone gets carded, so I would've had my ID ready. At the country club, not so much.

Tonight I learned that it's hard to feel professionally dignified when you are fumbling around in your purse trying to locate your ID, while the other five people at the table are just looking at you.

Someday, I'll be grateful for this.

There's a special place in hell ...

2006-04-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

... for people who disrespect libraries.

I'm just sayin'.

they're not all stewing in the mindless myopia of myspace

2006-04-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

Overheard this morning, as I was walking into AcademicUnit:

Undergrad on cell phone, with mock disgust: "Seriously, if you're calling me about a comment someone wrote on MySpace, I'm hanging up now."

I had to smile.

A happy home

2006-04-23T09:11:00.001-07:00

I realize my inconsistent posting has probably eroded most (all?) of my regular readership, but I want to thank you all for your kind words about the house Woodstock and I are buying. I would've responded sooner, but I was travelling for work and my P[ieceof]C[rap] was on the fritz.

I am home now, for a few days, and thought I should post some pictures of the house for all you well wishers. Since Bailiwick is, like, a very small college town, I've chosen ones that are hopefully not too identifying. Here's are snapshot of the back porch and the all-important kitchen:

The internet was down all day yesterday, due to a fire in a nearby town. Not entirely sure about the correlation there, but it forced me to abandon my plans of working all day.

This job has slowly been getting the better of me. I have so many different things I need to keep track of, and I find myself thinking about it all the time, as I fall asleep, in my dreams, and first thing when I wake up. I have been travelling too much --in the last 6 weeks, I have made trips to the Cool Northwest City That's Home to Nike; that Desert City with lots of Gambling; Cincinnati; the Earthquake-prone Cities by the Bay; and I'm heading to Beantown next week. I find myself frayed at both ends, feeling far too much like I did when I was professor-ing, which ultimately pushed me to leave the profession.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel ... something potentially exciting changes to my duties, but I'm hesitant to say too much until I know for sure. The glacial pace of higher ed can be frustrating, but I'm hoping to know by the start of the next fiscal year (July 1).

It's unremittingly beautiful here today, all sunshine and lightness, and I'm going to do some work, clean up the house a bit, and hang with Woodstock and Doggie.

house heaven!

2006-04-13T18:41:00.000-07:00

We've accepted the owners' counter-offer, so Woodstock and I are officially under contract and on our way to owning our very first home.

It's strangely anticlimactic, since there's still so much verifying and paperwork to happen.

Also, the house is rented through June, so though we close in May, we won't be moving in until July.

So, in addition to being a really wonderful home on 2 lots with lots of mature trees and a huge kitchen, this home works perfectly with our somewhat strange timetable. [I am going to be in Asia for the last two weeks of May, then Woodstock is in Former Communist Country for the month of June and the beginning of July, and the lease on the house we're currently renting ends in July.]

Hooray for our first house! I'm already looking forward to margaritas tomorrow night.

house hunting is hell

2006-04-13T09:37:00.000-07:00

I've been up to my ears in work-related travel and house hunting with Woodstock.

After a few frustrating weeks of being offer sluts--making offers and counter-offers on not-quite every house we saw--and cursing the out-of-touch and sometimes downright rude owners of said houses, we made an offer on our favoritest house to date and received a totally sane counter-offer from the owners.

Good, right?

Well, even more frustrating than dealing with owners who think their houses are worth more than they are and will hold out for months, years if necessary, to prove this, is accepting the owners' counter-offer verbally and worrying that, in the 6 intervening hours, some newly hired faculty member will offer (in writing) more than the asking price, which will promtply be accepted by the owners. And we will be totally sol.

And, lest you think I'm crazy, this sort of thing happens in this neighborhood. Often.

Clearly, being so close to a house we really love, and yet not quite close enough, is making me crazy.

Any coping mechanisms you can suggest? For now, I'm catching up on adminstrative tasks I've been ignoring.

Leaving Las Vegas ...

2006-03-30T15:52:00.000-08:00

This has been an unusual business trip. I rode a roller coaster, ate a $46 business lunch, and took my morning runs along a busy boulevard teeming with lights and music.

It’s difficult for me to believe that people spend their own money and vacation time to come to Las Vegas. Truly, the appeal of Vegas is totally lost on me. It’s is a smoky, crowded, unnatural assault on the senses.

I expected at least to enjoy Las Vegas’ kitsch factor, the pomo train wreck of it all. But, it just seems sad.

I'm sitting at my gate, in the blissfully smoke-free airport, and I'm really glad to be heading home ...

Dear Dad,

2006-03-29T17:33:00.000-08:00

It's been 7 years since your death, so accidental and unexpected. I'm in Las Vegas for work, a place I suspect you would've appreciated for its cacophony and chaos.

It was a brilliantly sunny afternoon in the desert, the hot, dry weather you always loved the most.

This afternoon, I was free from formal work responsibilities. I walked down the Strip to the New York New York casino, so unlike the New York trips I remember from childhood.

And, for the first time since your death, I rode a roller coaster, something we did together whenever the opportunity presented itself. I stood in line, and the guy behind me (from Mass., as it turns out) offered to split a 2-for-1 coupon with me. I smiled to myself, knowing your love of the bargain.

The roller coaster was rickety, and the Masshole and I sat in the very first car, screaming our lungs out the whole way, despite the fact that we'd assured each other that we're "not screamers."

I surrendered my body to speed, height, and ridiculous motion--the terrifying abandon that roller coasters inhere and the things that took your life.

I miss you more now than I ever did.
I love you, Dad.

Your girl,
AiE

PDX, NorCal, and Gitmo

2006-03-14T04:12:00.000-08:00

I'm off to Portland, Oregon for the rest of the week for a work trip. I've never been there ... but if you have, please share any recommendations for evening activities! I plan to run in the early mornings, and I'm really looking forward to checking out the city in the evenings.

I've been quiet and hermit-y for the past week or so. Woodstock, my spouse, has been gone to NorCal--shooting for his colleague, working on preproduction for his latest doc, and visiting relatives. Being alone in the house with Doggie always gets me all introspective and thoughtful.

Whatever you do this week, please listen to last week's episode of This American Life, which featured interviews with prisoners from Gitmo who have been released. These are voices that now, more than ever, we need to listen to.

I blog against sexism, in celebration of International Women's Day

2006-03-08T10:19:00.000-08:00

Today, I blog not just against sexism, but for women everywhere.

~~~
I was 16 years old, and I was living in Post-Soviet City, the only American for as far as the eye could see and certainly the only American in my neighborhood school.

Being a young woman living in a foreign culture brought its own delights and frustrations.Most of the kids at the neighborhood school I attended had only seen Americans in movies. It's not really their fault, then, that the boys thought I should be gorgeous and easy and pursued me zealously only to be disappointed that, in fact, I was neither. The girls resented the unwarranted attention I received and barely disguised their disdain for my stammering Russian.

The injustice of the cultural stereotyping and sexism I experienced from my peers was not just an indignation to my burgeoning feminist identity. Beyond that, it plain stunk to have no friends!

That blow was softened and ultimately erased, however, by the wonderful women who shared their home with me. L., a grandmother who was kind enough to share her double bed, as well as her thoughts and experiences, with me. (Keep in mind, there were 7 of us living in a tw-bedroom apartment). Nightly I was regaled with stories about how life was so much better "do perestroiki"--before perestroika. V., L.'s daughter and a sweet, endearing career woman, and M., L.'s granddaughter, who was a few years older than me but became a true sister. These women offered me their home, their hearts, and their unconditional acceptance.

I had read and heard a lot about International Women's Day, a holiday that was very important under the Soviet regime, as the female equivalent to Red Army Day. I was anxious as the day approached, wary of one more day to be left out and reminded of just what an ugly American I was in the eyes of my peers.

But, on this day 12 years ago, it didn't matter. I was flooded with chocolate, flowers, cards, and all kinds of good wishes. Not because I was popular or pretty or someone's girlfriend. On March 8th, I was celebrated for the girl I was and the woman I would become.

setting the snark aside, for now

2006-03-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

My spouse, Woodstock, worked in L.A. for a time, and his wonderful Hollywood mentor is up for an Oscar this year! Unlike so many folks "in the biz," Woodstock's mentor is sweet, humble, and really, really nice. So, I'm setting aside the usual eye-rolling I send in the direction of the Academy Awards because I'm genuinely excited to root for Woodstock's mentor. Of course, if he doesn't win, I'll be bitter and roll my eyes at what a crock of crap the Oscars are.

But, in the meantime, go, Mentor, go!

Edited to add: Grrrrr. He didn't win. I'm going to bed now.

Um, yes, there is a reason for the season.

2006-03-02T18:40:00.000-08:00

Overheard in the locker room at the gym today:

"So, like, is Lent only for Catholics, or Christians? Or can anyone do it?"

Those student workers, always good for a laugh.

D!oh.

2006-03-01T18:22:00.000-08:00

The chair of my Master's committee is on this list.

How do I feel--amused? proud? surprised?
Some of each, I suppose.

Oh, I just thought it was me.

2006-03-01T14:24:00.000-08:00

I've been gaining weight. Why? I don't know. Around New Year's I thought maybe I just celebrated the holidays with a little too much gusto. But the past two months, I've been eating pretty well, mindful and all that. And I've been doing intense cardio or strength training or both at least six days a week.

What gives? Has my metabolism suddenly abandoned me? Have I been, unbeknownst to myself, binging on ice cream in the middle of the night? Have all my clothes been put in the dryer on the highest setting, over and over? Really, I was starting to feel kind of crazy about this fairly sudden and inexplicable weight gain.

So, this morning I called and chatted with my wonderful, insightful GP. After going through a number of questions and thinking through a number of possibilities with me, she observed that this weight gain has coincided with when I began taking birth control pills.

I had always thought that weight gain was a sort of contraceptive urban myth, but my GP assured it's a very common side effect. She also said that, depending on one's reasons and need for contraception, she genergally recommends against bc pills if possible because of these, and other more serious, side effects and risks.

Needless to say, I'm *so* over taking the Pill. And I feel a strange sense of relief that I'm not going to be taking them anymore.

i'm baaack ...

2006-02-28T15:32:00.000-08:00

Thanks to jo(e), for creating a meme that brought me back home. This meme is apropos because, after trying out a different blogging persona and then not blogging at all, this old-new blog is just right, like a favorite pair of jeans.

Is your blogging persona more serious than your real life persona?
Ha! No way. I'm way more playful when I'm blogging, even if I'm taking up something serious as a topic.

Do you think the only safe way an academic can write publicly is to write anonymously?
I think it depends on that person's position within the academy, as well as the type of blogging one does. Well, since I'm hitched to a guy on the tenure track, I'm choosing to stay anonymous at least partly for his sake. Also, that way I can talk smack about his department, when necessary. And since I'm now working for an AcademicUnit of the University, I might have some dishing of my own to do.

Do you think that your blog could ruin your career?
I can't imagine writing something scandalous or uncouth enough to be fired for it. But, eh, stranger things have happened, I suppose.

What would happen if an administrator at my college discovered my blog?
I have no idea.

Do you use a pseudonym out of fear?
Nope. Well, since I'm hitched to a guy on the tenure track, I'm choosing to stay anonymous at least partly for his sake. That way I can talk smack about his department, when necessary. And since I'm now working for an AcademicUnit of the University, I might have some dishing of my own to do.

Also, I've tried blogging a bit more publicly, where friends and family were regular readers, and, well, it just wasn't the same.

What is the biggest drawback to writing pseudonymously?
Not being able to adequately or accurately explain

Has anyone stumbled on your blog and found it accidentally?
I don't think so.

Have you outed yourself to any other bloggers?
Oh, sure. I mean, sorta. I've traded first names and some details with a few bloggers, including Dr. Virago, Profgrrrrl, New Kid, 1B*, and Musey.

Has your blog allowed you to experiment with writing?
Not particularly, but it has allowed me to connect with others, which, in this venue, is ultimately more satisfying than experimenting with my writing.

Why do you use a pseudonym?
Because I want to be un-Google-able by in-laws and old boyfriends (ha!).